6/18/2012 9:58:00 PM Column: Kidding aside, Lion's Club feud laid to rest (true)
Jerry Jackson Courier columnist
As the warden informed Cool Hand Luke 45 years ago, what I'm also suffering from is a "failure to communicate" as it relates to my two most recent columns. You see, it has come to my attention that my spoofs in both instances focusing on a birthing "feud" pitting the incoming Prescott Noon Lions Club president, Paul Chastain, against a fellow club member, Paul Roseberry, were taken seriously by at least one couple, and possibly others, although I really thought that the gags were liberally peppered with plenty of grains of salt. But I need to set the record straight so that there will be no doubt whatsoever that I was kidding all along.
Those of you who are sick and tired of the subject can tune out right now, of course, but I swear, on a sack of black-eyed peas, that this third column - be it an elegy or a eulogy, I forget which - represents the caboose. And, just to be on the safe side, I'll indicate parenthetically whether I'm joking or serious in the quoted references.
The catalyst for the column was spawned by the 87-year-old Roseberry as he mended fences with the 71-year-old Chastain. Here is his moving commentary that emerged from the club's installation program this past Thursday:
"I can't tell you how shocked I was when Lion Paul Chastain said that he thinks I am his biological father." (joke) "Lion Jim Messerschmitt said that Lion Chastain is a loving and caring person who goes out of his way to serve others and I respect Lion Jim's opinion." (true)
So Roseberry "sat and thought about how Lion Chastain said that he and I have led almost parallel lives, one generation apart." (true) "Now that I know he's an ex-Navy man, as was I, I must believe that he is a loyal red-blooded American citizen and I shouldn't have questioned his citizenship." (mostly true, but that "questioning his citizenship" thing was a joke).
"We have a lot in common," Roseberry acknowledged. (true) "We are both good-looking, handsome men (subject to extreme conjecture) and we both married beautiful blond women." (true) "We served at the North Island Naval Air Base in San Diego, a generation apart, and we have lived in Southern California and worked less than 40 miles apart." (true)
"I served as president of the Prescott Noon Lions Club in 1995-96, and almost a generation later Paul Chastain has been elected to the same position." (true) "I am not going to demand any DNA testing and I will accept Lion Chastain's belief that I am his biological father and be as proud as the senior George Bush must've been to see his son attain the presidency." (joke)
"God bless the Prescott Noon Lions Club and God bless America." (true sentiment)
So there you have it, and it is my hope that the clarification allays any doubts on the part of any of you readers out there who may have had trouble separating fact from fiction. It's heartfelt, that's for sure!