7/22/2013 6:00:00 AM Column: Romance is more than price and money... maybe
by judy Bluhm
Romance is in the air - have you noticed? The cooler weather we've had plus the lovely rains seems to bring out the urge to hold hands and stop complaining about the relentless heat. Couples have something else to talk about besides how summer will never end. My husband, Doug, always the romantic, bought me a new blue manure rake and pair of pink garden gloves last week. Hey, he knows that there is no better way to spend balmy evenings than by cleaning up the horse corrals.
Back on the topic of romance, one psychologist that was featured on Oprah, says that the true meaning of romance is rooted in the "ability to express joy and appreciation for someone else's interests and aspirations." It is "the celebration of a person's uniqueness" that makes a little manure rake probably more "romantic" than a tennis bracelet. Am I to believe this? Hmm, I'll have to get back to you on this one.
A man in Prescott (a very nice man) got his wife a new black sports car for her 50th birthday and she turned around and got him a new fishing pole for his. Delighted with his new reel, he said he was "over the moon" that his wife took the trouble to go into a sporting goods store and spend time picking out "fishing gear" for him. And did she like the car? Well, of course. But he said his gift for her wasn't as "special" as the fishing rod she got him. Plus, she spent considerable thought about exactly which lures he might use, and then really touched his heart when she wrote on his birthday card, "you're my best catch yet." When it comes to matters of romance, it sounds as though this lady has her husband "hook, line and sinker."
So there we have it. Price and money don't matter as much as the effort that goes into the gift (or relationship) that evidently makes the biggest impact. And forget about gifts, the real key to romance seems to be in the "spending" part, like in time and energy, more than material objects. Who needs a fancy car or a bunch of diamonds lying around? (Okay, so perhaps more research is needed on this topic).
My horses are even romantic... and they don't have a dime. They nuzzle, cuddle, kiss and follow. They whinny when they want to be heard and chase each other when they want to play. They look hopeful and excited when they see me walking towards them (especially with a bucket in my hand), and they make every time we meet feel like its special. If they do snap at each other, they instantly forget about it and never seem to hold a grudge. Horses are basically sweet and simple, accepting of what we have to offer and forgiving of our shortcomings.
A woman in Prescott Valley emailed me to say that she and her husband have a very good marriage when the weather cools and barely can stand each other when it's hot. I asked her if she ever thought of moving to Montana or someplace cold, but she didn't seem amused. She was wondering if the divorce rate in Arizona is higher in the summer and if people reconcile more when the temperature cools down.
How should I know? I'm still wondering if a manure rake is really a romantic gift or if I might be happier with a sports car. I know that life's circumstances change and if we're lucky, we change too. When Doug and I got married 32 years ago, he displayed the single most romantic notion of any man alive. He took a bride doll that my daughter had and cut some lace off of the dress, fashioning a beautiful lace holder for the flowers he bought me. He sewed the material around the flowers in a gesture that still makes my heart skip a beat.
From flowers and lace to manure rake? Isn't life grand? Oh yeah, it is being in the moment and figuring out what's important to your "special someone" that kindles the embers of romance. Go ahead, take a walk on the wild side. The monsoons and cooler weather beckons us to nuzzle, cuddle, kiss and follow. Hold hands. Light a candle. Show interest in someone you love. Think of one little thing that would mean a lot to your "special someone." Forget the tennis bracelet or fancy car (well maybe) and consider the "lure" of fishing gear. Dear Readers, until next week... be sure to appreciate your "best catch."
Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor who lives in Skull Valley. Have a comment ro a story? Email Judy at email@example.com.